Atomic Habits - James Clear
OK. A heads up about Atomic Habits by James Clear. I have been looking - but cannot find - women talking about this book. What I find instead are a lot of young, driven men discussing its merits. And that feels like a bit of a red flag for me.
It is a book about achieving goals - which as you already know, is a concept I choose to use lightly. It is also a book that promotes ‘improvement’ - by 38% or something bonkers… I mean, most of the stuff I do in life could be measured (how many smelly socks do I pick up of the floor each week?) - but really shouldn’t be. So - please take that with a pinch of salt too.
Having said that - and having brought in the big gun caveats - there is something about the establishing and maintaining of small, manageable habits, that speaks to the busy working mother in me. So I’d be interested in what you think when we meet for group coaching too. Are atomic habits the life changing system we need to move towards the things, the balance, the life we most want or need?
I also subscribe to Clear’s idea that in order to establish habits - really it takes a mindshift in attitude that the habit is not the task or activity - but the identity change that will ensue. A more effective way of thinking, in order to establish a new habit, is that your goal is not to go running - but to be a runner. Your goal is not the play the piano everyday, but to be a confident pianist.
I also like the idea that the habit is not the task itself - but the entry activity to the task. The habit is getting up and putting on running clothes immediately - making it more likely you’ll go for that run. The habit is leaving your phone downstairs, making it more likely to read before bedtime. Being conscientious about the ways in which your habits become more likely - and therefore sustainable - means thinking about the context and environment in which your habit is growing.
This reminds me of the advice artist Caroline Walker offered about her creative practice: that in order to build a creative practice around her young family - she would need to imagine that turning to her note book or picking up a paintbrush was as important as all the other tasks in the cycle of daily chores. It was as important as picking up the dirty socks. Snatching just 15 minutes between the relentless, infinite tasks of family life, made her creative practice exist, albeit in the gaps.
I’d love your thoughts and look forward to your reflections - or even experiments - with small, atomic habit setting. I’ll be interested to find out which habits to turn your attention to and the entry activities that make them possible.