Keep CLEAR by tuning IN
Photo: Eric Nopanen @ Unsplash
IN-TUITION
Since becoming a mother, how often do you employ your intuition?
As a parent, how often are your instincts proven right?
For me, the answer to both question is: almost daily.
In managing the needs of all our family members, our senses are well tuned to individual needs, the competing needs within our family, and ‘what’s best’ for us all.
My animal instincts have sharpened since becoming a mother - like I am sniffing out danger, or poison, or threat. And also the joy, or the need for patience, care, or action. My responses are acute and well-tuned to changes in energy, in mood, in how we constellate around each other. I have become an instinctual expert!
And yet, it has taken me longer to realise I still have this superpower for myself. I have it in bucketloads for others, but sometimes forget I have it for myself in equal measure. Its a blindspot, but one I’m trying to do something about - by tuning IN a bit more frequently.
TUNING-IN
Talking of frequencies, I have been reading another brilliant text by Julia Cameron - author of The Artist’s Way. Her word is not gospel, but I have really enjoyed her apology-free attitude towards what is important in (her) life: the need to nurture her creative spirit and ideas, and desire to feel whole through doing so - and feeling responsible for building clarity around her creative practice in response.
But what is it we search for when we want and need ‘clarity’?
I think that I need clarity when I want certainty over something - I want that steady sense of confidence (in my head, my heart, my body) that, yep, this is the right thing way forward. Like tuning in to a particular radio frequency through the crackle, I am looking for something to fit, to feel right.
Feeling certain or clear about things requires us to hear our intuition speaking. Along with clarity, coaching clients often arrive wanting more ‘confidence’ - as if it grew on some far away tree, and if only they could find the tree and then harvest its fruit - then all would be well!
Coaching is working out the path towards that tree, but our intuition guides us all the way. We really do need to trust our instincts, more often than we realise, on this path.
HOW DO WE GET THERE?
Cameron’s text is called The Listening Path, and she recommends the following practices to TUNE IN to your world, and what your instinct might be telling you.
She encourages the following main activities to be able to listen in to how we think and feel:
Daily Morning pages - 3 pages of hand written stream of consciousness: this helps us listen to our subconscious
Weekly Artist dates - an activity that is stimulating in some way (it could be something small like buying some ribbon from a craft shop, or something bigger like going to the theatre by yourself: this helps us listen to our more playful inner child
Frequent Walks - without distraction or purpose, necessarily: this helps us listen to our environment
That might feel like a LOT as a busy mother. I agree, and I have tried and often failed to keep up with her practical suggestions. BUT, when I have written morning pages, or taken myself on an artist date, usually, a little bit of magic happens.
TUNING IN PRACTICES on The Listening Path
Below is a summary of just some of the ways we can then TUNE IN, and some exercises that encourage you to learn how. I am only sharing a selection for fear of overwhelm and a question of ‘fitting it all in’. This is a 6-week programme of mindful practice, and split into the following 6 chapters. Imagine that these practices are designed to build in a cumulative way.
Have a look and see which exercises appeal to you, and don’t feel obliged to do them all. Let your instincts guide you!
LISTENING TO YOUR ENVIRONMENT:
Consider the soundtrack to your life, tune in to sounds you can’t control - noticing the response in your feelings, thoughts and body. Whilst you may not be aware of the noises around you, what does your soundtrack mean to you?
Consider the weather - and its impact on your mood, your energy, your day - write a weather report and how it affects you
Take a walk, without other stimuli (like a podcast to listen to on the way, or a deadline to meet at the end) - so you can notice the world around you - the sirens, the trees, the people, the activity, the smells, the natural world, the temperature. Connect to the world around you - what is it telling you?
2. LISTENING TO OTHERS:
For a week, aim to employ active listening wherever possible - which requires a curious and open-minded attitude - free from solution finding, advice giving or problem solving. Often it requires silence on the listener’s part. It is a generous and unassuming space that allows someone else to feel your presence and notice their own thoughts.
Be on the hunt for someone who actively listens to you - and in doing so, leaves you with a feeling of optimism, self-worth and possibility.
Make contact with someone who has been on your mind, and who would appreciate your call/message. What did it do for both of you to be in touch?
Listen to some music - and then listen again. What are your associations? What do you think of it? What does it arise in you?
3. LISTENING TO YOUR HIGHER SELF:
Choose a topic on which you need guidance. Pose a question and then listen in to your own response. Do not dismiss what you hear as ‘just your imagination’. Trust that your imagination is a wonderful thing and has something to tell you.
Visit a new location - somewhere you don’t know well. What are you noticing - the soundtrack, the landscape, the feelings arising in you by being there. How is it different to what you are used to? What insights does it bring?
Ask yourself - What do I need to know? Trust, and record, what you hear in answer.
4. LISTENING BEYOND THE VEIL:
I invite you to try woo-woo. Select a passed friend of family member to whom you felt particularly close during their lifetime. Ask the simple question, “Can I hear from X?” Be prepared for a quick response that yes, you can hear from X. Listen for what X has to tell you. Very often, you will find it reassuring, as though you were picking a thread of a cherished conversation. The message may be briuef but direct. In all likelihoodm, it will leave you feelign loved. Thank you correspondent for getting in touch with you. If you wish, promise to be in contact again soon.
5. LISTENING TO OUR HEROES
Take a pen and address a personal hero. Ask them for guidance and write our the guidance you hear. Don’t be surprised by how quickly it appears.
6. LISTEN TO SILENCE
Set a timer for three minutes. Close your eyes and allow the silence to nurture your spirit. Even the smallest amount of meditation is nourishing. For the next week, edge forward, adding three minutes more daily. By week’s end, you will have arrived at twenty minutes, the amount of time allocated by most spiritual teachers.
Create - or find - the quietest spot you can find. Allow yourself to seek it out - at home or beyond - and note your resistance to this. Turn off your phone, find a way or a time to ensure others will not disturb you. Notice your resistance again. Spend a few minutes in silence. What do you notice or ‘hear’ when creating space for yourself?
Good luck and see what comes… x