Rest, Reset, Restore

Dec 8

This is the month to rest. To reset. To restore. Just like the natural world around us, it is time to go in, to freeze, to slow our rhythm right down - so that we can conserve our energy and get ready for the big work in the spring.

This is not a ‘nice to have’ or some kind of bonus or luxury - it is part of every natural cycle there is: the growing, the living, the receding back and the dying - from our seasons to our menstrual cycles, the shape of the moon and the course of a lifetime. Rest and recovery is a necessary part of life.

I have compiled some ideas below about different ways you might like to encourage and focus on your restoration and recovery this month. Some things require us to do, some things require us to do less. Some active, some passive. But all intentional - and requiring a mindset that requires the permission and space to prioritise our rest and restoration this month, for our own benefit and those around us.

Below are a selection of prompts - not another to-do list! See which ones appeal or act as a reminder. And celebrate those you already employ. I have compiled ideas into the following areas:

Restore your body
Restore your mind
Restore your habits

I look forward to hearing about the different ways you are choosing to restore yourself when we meet for group coaching… x

Thanks to the following sources for inspiration:

https://www.aleve.com.sg/live-well/8-tips-to-restore-you

https://www.success.com/your-may-action-plan-10-ways-to-restore-yourself/

https://www.restore.org.uk/2023/5-top-tips-for-self-care

Restore your body

Breath work: at its most basic, finding a comfortable seat and setting your clock for a 10 minute chance to connect with your breath. Breathing in for a count of 6 seconds, then breathing out for 6, creates what is known as ‘coherent breathing’, a way of mindful breath control that activates the vagus nerve and slows down your heart rate, reducing anxiety and stress.

Moving your body: there are acres of advice and information pages on the internet about the psychological and mental health benefits of physical exercise. We need nothing more than to prioritise our time to get those endorphins bringing their own little bits of joy. Get moving, even if you are indoors, with kids, feeling sluggish.

Eat Mindfully: Being mindful of what goes in your body can impact everything from your digestive and immune systems to your joint and bone health. Some things to keep in mind when thinking about a diet that can help you thrive:

Certain foods, like fish, citrus fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds, olive oil, beans, and onions can help control inflammation.
Processed foods often contain high amounts of sugar, sodium and fats, which can lead to major health problems and depleted energy.
Fresh produce is a good source of essential vitamins and minerals.

Diet changes can affect how you feel. Keep a food journal to track what you eat and how your body responds physically and mentally. More control over your food means more control over your health and wellness, including your mental health.

Sleep: This is one of the most important things you can do for whole-body restoration. It's a physical, mental, emotional refresher that can do wonders for your overall happiness, well-being and wellness. If falling asleep is a problem, try a power(down) hour. Avoid watching TV and using your smartphone or tablet. The stimulation can cause your brain to keep firing, which could make it hard to fall asleep. Instead, relax with a book in a quiet space, or try meditation and relaxation exercises (see Tip 1).

Restore your mind

Be kind to yourself: And here comes the connection to PATIENCE (seen elsewhere in resources this month). Allowing yourself space to rest and restore - by considering your needs first and foremost - often feels like a constant battle as a parent. Try to bring in a mindset that allows you this - one of permission, self love and compassion. Sometimes we need to add patience (for ourselves, for others, for our situations) and degrees of surrender - so that we can trust that we are exactly where we are supposed to be.

Mindful practice: Just about anything in this life would be improved by adding mindful attention - a gentle and curious noticing of our lives as they get played out, moment by moment. I don’t mean analysis, scrutiny or a relentless assessment of how things are - more an ability to notice, to witness without judgement, and to feel. (Not easy as a busy working mother!)

Say no, let go: our last two months of practice - PRUNE and CLEAR have been preparing the way for this - but what is there that is left for you to say no to, or to let go of? See if there’s something that could be paused, put down, rejected, minimised, or erased this month. It can be wonderful to feel a sense of control over how things are and to make choices that work for you.

Give thanks: Linked to your evening practice for sleep - resist the urge to watch or scroll before bedtime. Instead, notebook and pen by your bedside will encourage a practice of noticing 3 things you can be thankful for instead. (One of mine, ironically, is Couple’s Therapy on BBC - often watched before I go to bed - but hey, I’m only human…)

Laughter: there is no medicine like it. When was the last time you really laughed? Which film can you guarantee to laugh at? What are the most conducive conditions for laughter for you? Who makes you laugh the most? What are you looking forward to this month and how might laughter feature?

Discover your passions: arguably the one prompt that coaching nudges you towards more than any other - a recognition of what is most important to you, and what lights the fire in your belly. Looking forward to January (SELECT) and February (SOURCE) prompts in this membership - jot down some of the things you feel passionate about. Write about what you have chosen, consider their source, and notice how they feature in your life right now.

Restore your habits

Asking for help: not always a comfortable resposne to discomfort, asking for help could be the best habit to reset and employ this month. Conditioned to believe that asking for help is in some way weak, the antithesis of being a strong and capable woman, we have had it drummed out of us. What are the challenges ahead, and who can you ask for help? Instead of assuming we can do it alone, let’s celebrate what happens when we ask for what we need, and the joy it might given someone else to be asked.

Start something new: whilst this might not get to the top of the to-do list, starting something new - being a learner - can be a great way to recharge, shaking up existing habits and grooves we have found ourselves in. Quite simply, it might be something on this list that pushes you out of your comfort zone (like asking for help or finding 10 minutes of mindful breathing).

Get out into nature: beyond the physical benefits of moving your body and getting fresh air, being out in nature has a wealth of benefits to our emotional and cognitive states. Fabulous write Lucy Jones (of Matrescence fame) wrote Losing Eden as ‘A love letter to the restoring power of nature, [it] contemplates the effects of our increasingly dysfunctional relationship with the natural world on our wellbeing. Founded on cutting-edge research and entwined with intimate autobiographical episodes, Jones’s book is a candid call to protect our fragile, exploited ecosystems as well as a fount of hope for a better future – for both the planet and its inhabitants.’.

It shall be my winter reading, I think, between the walks of course.

Journal: easier said than done - I realise that. But there is no better way to hear and see your own thoughts - and restore connection to yourself - than to spend time writing your stream of consciousness, unfiltered, onto a page in front of you. Over time it is a powerful habit that always feels like a good idea. Do you think once a week might just be possible?

Press pause and Unplug: without doubt the best thing that happened for my mental health, emotional clarity and sense of control last month, was removing a number of apps from my mobile phone (news, socials, unnecessary distractions). It has felt liberating and I have not missed a single thing. I can still access them all via my laptop - but that feels very much more controlled and within parameters that feel reasonable. I do not have that instant pull to something that - by and large - is poor for my focus and general well being.

Embrace music: instead, I have played more audio, put on more music, danced, sang, cried a bit to the more heartfelt stuff - and enjoyed something creative and nourishing in my ears. I have not become numb to the world and its pains; instead I am choosing to reflect on the news of the day by feeling it through music that touches me and makes me feel very grateful for my lot. If Strictly Come Dancing has taught me ANYTHING (what do you mean you don’t watch it?), it’s the value of putting on some music and dancing your heart out in the kitchen.

Thanks to the following sources for some inspiration: