November - CLEAR
As we drink in the last of autumn and feel the winds and the rains of the changing season around us, this month we will focus on getting CLEAR. Last month, we pruned: stripped down, cut back, and decided what could stay and what could go. And this month, we clear the way for a period of rest and restoration, hibernation and comfort.
All the signs are there to go in, this month. The day darkens earlier, and the temperature is going down. The last vestiges of the garden sag and brown. There is clearing to be done to make way for rest, for quiet, the darker months to come. There is still activity to attend to - but in the interests of some well-deserved slowing down.
There are several iterations of what 'CLEAR' might mean to you. First, and with the garden in mind, the idea of clearing the way that allows rest, restoration and ultimately renewal to occur. You might actually need to clear a path of leaf litter or dead plant life - and the metaphor extends nicely.
You might also want to create a CLEAR mind - to slow down, switch off or turn down the noise and busy lives we lead. Finding clarity is probably one of the top three reasons people come to coaching - to be able to see things clearer in some way. But this month we’ll interrogate what having clarity really means - how we achieve it, how long it might last, why it fades, and what we can do to restore it.
Being CLEAR might also be about what’s going on around you - in your relationships with others, in your dreams and aspirations, in how the pieces of the jigsaw fit together. We’ll use a helpful tool to help get clarity on something you might want, or something you want to change.
And being CLEAR might simply happen when we clear the detritus and put things in their home, create some sense of order and see clearly what’s already right in front of us. We’ll consider what stands in our way and begin to clear the path. We might need to imagine life at its most basic, transparent, and simple to understand what that order needs to be. We will consider what living a simpler life looks like.
At the root of all of these versions of CLEAR, I want to encourage you to recognise to what degree you trust - and are guided by - your instincts. Being CLEAR can also be an important and necessary feeling: the one when a decision feels right, or you learn something revealing about a person or situation, or when you have those 'aha!' moments of clarity and perspective.
I hope, in amongst the crackles and bangs of this fiery time of year, you can find moments of clarity: to feel, to think or to act in ways that help you put things in their places - both metaphorically and in reality.
Have a beautiful month, dear Mama x
Blind questions: getting clear on what’s next
Getting clarity can feel difficult - so many variables, so little time to work it all out. If we start with how confused we are about something, it’s surely going to feel difficult to see a way through. These questions bypass that confusion, and head to the source - and provide a template that is worth learning by heart for future clarity-seeking moments.
Keep CLEAR by tuning IN
This piece summarises a lovely book on mindful practice by the brilliant Julia Cameron called The Listening Path. Ever more important for busy mothers, finding time for our own thoughts, and being able to notice how our environment and choices shape our thoughts and feelings, is essential work. Here are some suggestions for how to TUNE IN.
Trust your gut-erus
In this short 5 minute read, Emma Hodson-Jarvis outlines recent research that gives a biological basis for our intuitive superpowers as women. Historically, our intuitive powers have been seen as dangerous threats to the rationale mind (think witch hunts, ‘hysteria’ and a women’s incapability to think, rationally, for herself enshrined in all sorts of nonsense like not being allowed to vote). Here’s some evidence that could give rise to us valuing this gift a little more.
Using our instincts to get CLEAR
To feel clear about something, we might have to go beyond the rational thoughts and listen more carefully to our instincts. For something to feel ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ usually requires a big dollop of instinct - but too often we deny ourselves that wisdom. Why? these two talks are thought provoking - asking us why we don’t rely on and trust our instincts more routinely for decision making and the clarity so many of us seek.
Mother - Instinct
As mothers, our instincts kicked in the moment we became pregnant. Our senses heightened, our need to protect and nurture may have developed, and the need to feel our way (rather than know the answer…. what answer?) became a steady state of being. Our instincts are sharp and we use them to constantly assess and know our children’s needs, and respond in a way that you know works. So why is it so difficult to trust our instincts when the one in need is us?
What’s in our way and how do we clear a path?
Sometimes things get in our way - like brambles in the woods - and we don’t even notice how much they’ve grown. To find clarity, to clear the way forward, its good to recognise what stands in our way (either the presence or the lack of something) and to tackle it head on. This activity helps categorise the barriers we experience, and to know what we need to move forward.