People in my life

When we talk of love, we often imagine or bring to mind others - people we love or feel loved by. And there are often so very many people in our lives - some who reinforce the good stuff, and some, who sadly, don’t. There is an easy flow of love between some friends and family, and for others, that loving bond is hard won.

Below is a good coaching activity to think about the people in your world. You won’t remember everyone, of course. But it is a way of having some sense of perspective on the people in your circles - and what they bring you. It is also a chance to consider your role in other people’s circles too.

In your selection, you’ll find those people who you love - and those people who love you. I wonder, at the very least, what it means to bring them vividly to mind? Are they too far away? Have you not seen them enough recently? What needs to happen to have them closer to you - in mind or body?

People in my life

Do an ‘audit’ of your network. Consider the different types of people in your life by the descriptors below.

Is there more than one type of person than any other?

What might they say about you?

Radiators

People who give you comfort, who are on your side, who boost your confidence.

Drains

People who sap your confidence.

Role Models

People who you admire, who have achieved what you want to achieve.

People who can help you

People who have information that may help you achieve your goals. May be organisations, colleagues or friends. Think about your network of contacts.

No-nonsense ‘kick in the pants’ friends

People who will tell it like it is and give you a ‘kick’ when needed.

People who you help or mentor

People who look to you for guidance, help, advice, or comfort. 

Blockers

People who actually stand in your way and don’t want you to succeed.

People Map 

Now begin to map those people in your life on the ‘People Map’ image below.

Create your own map of the relationships around you – those close and those more distant. Some people you have identified, you won’t know personally (eg role models, for instance). So they can sit outside your circles.

Consider the following questions:

• What kind of people do you have most of in your inner circle? What does this give you?

• What kind of people would you like more of in your inner circle or close to hand?

• Who is distant to you that you would like to be closer?

• Who is close to you that you would like some distance from?

• Where would your friends place you on their circles?

• Which friendships would you like to alter or recalibrate – for your benefit?

Reflection

What does it give you to reflect on your network? What was it like to do the activity?

Jot down reflections and I’m interested to share thoughts (and subsequent actions?) at our group coaching session.