August - ENJOY

This month, I thought it would be good to tune into what it is we most ENJOY. This felt like the right time of year: when we are likely to be going on much-deserved holidays, or spending more time with family and friends, into those long evenings, with the warm sun meaning more ice creams and putting smiles on faces.

And it feels important to remind ourselves about what we most ENJOY because the summer holidays are LONG for parents (and children too sometimes) and they are not always filled to the brim with enjoyable, harmonious lazy days in the sun. Instead, they can be fraught - while we manage children who find it hard to manage themselves with us or each other, negotiating bouts of boredom, and when we might feel exhausted by the need to be ‘on’ so much more than the term time rhythm requires.

For those of you with pre-school children too, you might also be juggling your working life (in my case, quite slowly!) or other life admin that never sleeps or has a holiday. For others, you might be about the return to work after a maternity leave and you are squeezing the last drops out of this phase before life changes once again. So, finding glimmers of enjoyment - and really relishing them - feels important when the summer demands so much of our time, our energy and such a significant change to the rhythm of our days and our weeks.

So what do you most enjoy, MAMA?

What have been the most enjoyable experiences for you so far this summer?

What are you looking forward to, too?

What will prove to be your highlights - and what do they tell you about what you most enjoy in life?

Your highlight might be being left alone one afternoon to get through a great novel on a sun-soaked lawn. Maybe it is the squeal of delight on a rollercoaster. Maybe it is the look on your children’s faces as they build castles in the sand on the beach. Whatever your enjoyment - noticing what it brings you can be as precious as the shells from the beach you collect in your pocket.

And when you have identified those things that you most enjoy - ways of being, thinking or doing - how can they feature in your life more generally, and more regularly?

I appreciate that the summer holidays provide us with a particular opportunity to switch off and relax, away from the day-to-day pressures that things in the other 11 months of the year might create. But let’s not save up our enjoyment and build the pressure for August to be the ultimate highlight of the year! That pressure for enjoyment can sometimes lead to frustration if we are not all having a ‘jolly good time’, all the time.

So, what do we need throughout the year to bring enjoyment to our lives more fully? What are the conducive conditions? What mindset is most helpful?

Maybe it goes back to the art of mindfulness and gratitude: finding enjoyment in the simple things as well as those out of the ordinary. Tuning in to notice moments - simple pleasures, things out of the ordinary, risky or adrenalin-fuelled - that put smiles on our faces…. that's the gold, right there. Noticing those moments, then noticing what they offer - I think it might be as simple as that.

We know from acres of research - both empirical and anecdotal - that a habit of mindful gratitude brings such bounty and richness to our wellbeing. We feel less frustrated, less anxious, less disappointed and less stress. Conversely, increasing our awareness of enjoyment and what we are grateful for brings more sustained feelings of harmony, compassion for others and connection. Gratitude is nourishing especially when it is meaningfully associated with our own experiences. It’s not rocket science - leaning into the positive is generative, and the basis of most coaching practice.

Tools for this month…

My Letter to my daughters focuses on a child’s capacity for play - especially that kind of imaginative play that takes them to new lands, absorbs them for hours, and keeps them in flow (and often doesn’t need you!). I have been so delighted to witness my children find those moments - sometimes short lived and fleeting, sometimes for hours on end - as it reminds me that we all have that capacity to dream into our imaginations, creating moments of joy and flow that are so very rewarding. We have all been there, we know what to do. The question is whether we choose to make time and let go of our adult brains to find the playful child in each of us - and what it takes to transport us there.

We’ll also revisit the Wheel of Everything - but this time with the lens of enjoyment. How much do you enjoy those areas of your life most important to you - and what could you do to create more enjoyment in each of those spheres? What is it you need to think or feel to enable you to enjoy those areas of your life, just one more point, each time?

I’ll be sharing a podcast about Taste in order to get you thinking about how your taste has been influenced over the years. I also encourage you to root out your old favourites, and your new joys. I’ll ask you to notice the things you enjoy most at this time of year and encourage you to do what you can to experience them - even in small doses.

I'm also sharing an article written about those most radical of acts - pausing, playing and finding pleasure. Let's fill our cups Mama - we'll be better off, and those around us too, if we do.

We’ll also gather up some happy memories from this month - treasures to take with us into the next season, as the light fades and the temperature drops. What do we learn about ourselves - and what we need from life more generally - when we notice those moments that bring us great enjoyment?

I salute you Mama! The summers can feel demanding, and we can expect a lot from this time of year. So, here’s to those moments of JOY from this summer - and for them to pave to way for the rest of the year.