What to expect

So what is coaching? 

 

Coaching is a widely used term these days and covers a range of different forms of helping relationship. A thought provoking and often creative process, coaching aims to inspire you to develop and maximise your personal or professional potential and performance.

In our busy and often overwhelming lives, it provides that rare gift of time and focused attention to think about what is important to you and the choices, changes or developments you want to make.

The coach’s assumption is that you are the expert on your life – and that given the right environment, questions and support you will be enabled to come up with the best ways forward to meet your own challenges and opportunities.

People engage with a coach for many reasons: identifying purpose, career change, professional development, parenting, health, fitness, relationships and financial freedom are all common threads in coaching.

With the support of a good coach, people can make clearer judgements, learn from experiences, make better choices and make effective decisions or actions. 

At its heart, coaching is practical and includes the following elements: 

Connection

A relationship between coach and client is built on mutual confidence, trust, empathy, compassion and a belief in the client’s ability to succeed. 

Mobilisation

The feeling of moving forward, making progress or feeling different. Coaching happens over time and helps you to reflect on whats changed and how far you’ve come – providing accountability to maintain new habits or commitments.

Communication

There is a much higher quality of communication than we routinely engage in and it is underpinned by listening, honesty, support and challenge. 

Transformation

In helping people to help themselves, coaching has the potential to be transformative. It can remain at the transactional level (moving from A to B), but becomes life-changing when we pay attention to what lies beneath the surface of our conscious thinking.

Possibility

In a coaching conversation, possibilities become available and the unique perfect one for an individual emerges and is defined by them rather than the coach. 

Energy

A coach will bring curiosity, fascination and enthusiasm and is focused on supporting the client to be successful. This includes the client’s emotions, the energy and motivation to explore, develop and progress and a commitment to do the work. 

10 reasons to get a coach

 
 

  • There is no agenda or history to cloud the coach’s view of you. Unlike anyone else in your life, they see you as you show up in front of them: not as your job title, as a parent, a child, or someone they have known for years.

    They see you as you are, and as you potentially could be. Coaches hold up a mirror so you can see the best of yourself too.

  • When was the last time you were really listened to, without interruption so that you could hear yourself thinking?

    Neuroscience has found that receiving attention from another human being floods the brain with feel good chemicals, increasing the quality of your thinking and reducing stress.

  • Coaches don’t impose their solutions on you. They appreciate the uniqueness of each individual and realise every person will have a different mix of beliefs, conditioning, values, wants, needs, strengths etc.

    A coach will help you to understand yourself, what motivates you and what holds you back, what excites you and what gives you purpose.

  • This will help you find the solutions right for your specific situation and your particular blend of attributes and traits.

  • A good coach will be comfortable using humour and will be playful as well as offering you support, praise and challenge.

    You should expect to leave every session feeling more resourceful than when you came.

  • They will check on your progress, care about you, support you, champion you and challenge you. Self-help books are great but they don’t follow up.

  • However small or random, not everyone wants to be a CEO. Some people want to find the motivation to tidy their spare room, get on better with their mother in law, stick to their health and fitness goals, explore what really matters to them in life, or find the courage to make a change.

    You set the agenda and the coach commits to do all they can to support you.

  • You pay for the coach’s time, attention, expertise and ability to partner you in thinking. You don’t have to take turns in the conversation. You can indulge in pure ‘me time’.

  • You can let go of being perfect, people pleasing, discounting achievements or whatever habits you have acquired.

    A coach will create an adult to adult relationship in which you learn being perfect doesn’t exist. Instead you learn to accept and celebrate who you are.

    You will learn self awareness and self management skills that will last a lifetime.

  • Behind every successful sports person is a coach. Behind a successful business person is a coach. High achievers know that they can’t do it alone.

    Asking for help and support is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength. Coaching can make the difference that you can’t always make alone.

 

What is the difference between coaching, counselling and mentoring? There are some similarities in that all involve talking and listening, but each has its own particular focus: 

 

Coaching is forward looking, aiming for progression towards goals and solutions. The approach is ‘ask’ rather than ‘tell’ and the coach firmly believes the client is the expert.

The coach’s role is to enable and it is worth asking how ‘directive’ your prospective coach will be. 

Counsellors & therapists normally focus on specific, significant problems, trauma or illness and the therapist is often an expert in a specific area.

It often involves more ‘looking back’ and understanding the impact of life experiences or family dynamics, with many different styles of approach.

Mentors act as trusted advisors and will offer guidance, suggestions and expertise. Often they are very experienced in the area you’re working in or seeking guidance about. 

All can be powerful agents for change. Many coaches may incorporate elements of therapy and mentoring into their work.

It is worth spending some time finding out how coaches work to discern if their style will suit you.

There is often overlap between the disciplines, and each coach will have their own particular blend.

It is also worth exploring how comfortable you are with challenge.

Are you ready to be accountable to someone who will ask you about commitments you have made?

Are you prepared to be challenged on some of your assumptions or beliefs – about yourself and/or the world around you?

You can decide the level of challenge, and it is helpful to explore this upfront or early on with your coach. 

What happens if it feels difficult?

Feeling discomfort in coaching is not unusual. It is likely as you engage in self-exploration that you uncover blocks you hadn’t noticed, or beliefs that are holding you back.

Feeling discomfort can indicate you are moving out of your comfort zone and into a zone of growth and discovery. Hopefully, you will have the kind of chemistry with your coach where you can explain how you feel.

A good coach will be ready to respond to any reactions you have to the work – and continue in a non-judgemental and curious way.

There may, of course, be issues or challenges that are beyond the training and professional boundaries of a coach. Coaching requires a client to be in a position to make change, and be able to make decisions about their future.

It might be that particular traumas or different mental health issues might mean that counselling or therapy would be a better fit. You will know what you need, and a good coach will be professional in assessing and explaining their capacity to support you in what you want to achieve. 

Get in touch and talk with us