December: RESTORE
Ahhhhh. Breath in….. And now breath out.
It’s time to tune in, slow down, and find pockets of rest and restoration - even in this busy time of year. We can easily get swept up in family plans around Christmas, making sure we have ticked off the shopping list, finished up at work to be able to make space for other important things - often with that niggling feeling that something has been missed or there’s more to do. I know that feeling; none of us are immune at this time of year!
But look around us, and you’ll see signs from nature that we should really be doing the opposite. If they could, creatures and plants busy hibernating and receding back into the ground would have a good laugh at our expense: ‘look at the energy they put in that thing called life!’
Surely it’s time we conserved, not spent? Surely it’s time we store up, not diminish stocks? Remember, it's only a set of cultural norms that keep us as busy as we are, at a time of low light and cold snaps. Sometimes, it’s worth questioning who thought it was a good idea, after all?!
So this month, I’m going to encourage you to take a look at where you could instil a bit more rest in your day to day. It’s not easy - that washing pile never gets any smaller and your working life doesn’t reduce just because we’re heading into the depths of winter. But we can choose rest over activity, the pace of activity we do commit to, and how we’d like to feel when we do get round to some mid-winter celebrating.
And what do we offer our children when we teach them that rest is as important as action - that pausing is as important as being in motion? In society today, we have to actively relax, deliberately rest. It’s a strange thing that something as important as sleep, for example, can often be the thing that is so quickly sacrificed.
Ideas to help you RESTORE
So this month's resources, we focus on REST and RESTORATION. We consider our sleep pattern and 'sleep hygiene' - a bit like any other kind of habit or practice we do on a daily basis. I’m going to introduce you to Katherine May, who I highly recommend (her book ‘Wintering’ and her Substack), and listen in to some key tips on how to get better sleep - and why it is quite so important to us.
Next, and before the end of term throng - we’re going to commit to some actions that, while uncomfortable, will be good for us. We’re going to identify our relationship to our phones, our work (when we’re not at work) and our TVs or other techno-distractors. And we’re going to cultivate new habits to take into next year - the ones where we allow our body and our minds to tune out, empty, relax.
We’ll go steady this week - as it is an undeniably busy time of year - but we’ll look beyond technology and think about habits we’d rather bring in instead - a walk, some exercise, more reading, meditation or connection to nature. Let’s spend some time designing moments or periods of rest, while life is out of its normal rhythm, and really think about and choose habits that could serve you well going forward into next year.
There are some prompts here too for how to develop restorative practices for your mind and body - and how to develop some new habits too. Mostly they centre on mindful practice and the radical nature of patience in a fast-paced world. It can feel difficult to slow down to the ‘pace of reality’ as Oliver Burkeman puts it - and an act of rebellion to switch off, unplug and hibernate.
But as an essential part of every living rhythm, periods of rest and restoration are needed to be able to be able to do what we need to do at all other points of the cycle. Not a luxury, nor something we might ‘deserve’*, it is an ingredient we just must make space for.
So lets put in place some practices that mitigate against the worst of the busy-ness of the time of year, and might even leave us feeling better off. It always seems ironic to encourage something else ‘to do’ when it seems there is no space left for anything extra. Instead, this is training for a way of being that protects you against the incoming storms - building our resilience and noticing what we need to manage the any overwhelm.
Letters to my daughters: RESTORE
Its here - the festive season, that we all so look forward to outwardly, but secretly dread in equal measure! This month, you might not just need to rest - but to RESTORE - to recalibrate, reset and be filled up in some way. Knowing what can do that can be a life’s work - but worth discovering if you can.
Rest, Reset, Restore
This month, we dedicate our attention to our rest, our reset, our restoration. Like the natural world around us, its time to hunker down, hibernate and slow down - building our reserves for the big work in the Spring. Here’s a checklist of the number of ways in which you could RESTORE this month.
10 minutes of nothing
When is the last time you did absolutely nothing for 10 whole minutes? Not texting, talking or even thinking? Mindfulness expert Andy Puddicombe describes the transformative power of doing just that: Refreshing your mind for 10 minutes a day, simply by being mindful and experiencing the present moment. (No need for incense or sitting in strange positions.)
What gets in the way of rest?
It would be fantasy to believe that the answer to getting more rest is to take a lovely afternoon nap every day or get another hours sleep (although both will definitely help!) Instead, what stands in our way of rest - and can we recalibrate what we do, how we think or feel about this commitment or task? In addition - how could we even build in a more restful way of getting through the to-do list? Now there’s a challenge…
The 7 Types of Rest
It’s not all about sleep and naps. Restoration can happen when we are at work, getting through the to-do list - AND enjoying ourselves. We need to get better at identifying the type of rest we most need, and finding ways to achieve it. In this article by Saundra Dalton-Smith, she lays out 7 types of rest that could help you restore and re-energise if you are feeling depleted.
8 healthy sleep habits
We know we need it. We want it. We aim for it every night, only to find ourselves up later than hoped. Reminders are ignored about it. Habits are hard to maintain - especially for us night owls. But SLEEP is not so hard to attain - if we put in place some very simple (not rocket science) habits to encourage and create opportunities for good sleep. The benefits are well researched; we have no good reason not to. Have a look at these 8 habits to help you improve your sleep and consider the coaching questions at the end to reflect on which one you’re going to work on next. Sleep well!
Sleepy time: Some things to listen to
Here are some recommendations of podcasts I have been tuning into this month - ready for some concerted sleep training (at 46!) and a period of wintering - without the guilt, and with the intention of slowing down and tuning in. Find your inner dormouse and curl up to a conversation or two, about the power of rest, and the need for ‘wintering’.
Letters to my Daughters: REST
This month, can we slow down to a gentle hum - rather than forging ahead as normal? Can we recognise what energy we have available, store up what’s left, and feel comfortable with getting cosy on the sofa? We need to learn to rest these days - not sleep or watch telly - but actively rest. Brain off, body off, rest. And when we rest - and breath out - what space has been created, instead? Maybe a chance to be a bit more me, a bit less Mum. Watch this space.
Patience - what does it sound like?
Its landed - the first piece of audio that I’ll be sharing over the next few months. Its quite possible I’ll be asking for your contributions for future pieces soon! Watch out! Hope you enjoy x
Why patience is a superpower
Slowing down to the speed of reality can be painful, uncomfortable and difficult. We are conditioned to move at pace, improve and keep up. But in this month of rest and restoration, slowing down and surrendering can lead us to live more fully, doing the things we care about the most - and finding insights and solutions faster than we may do otherwise.
Conversing about Patience
This series of discussions is between different faith leaders, hosted by The Thrive Centre for Human Development - and their focus is on Patience. Far from being too steeped in religious ideology, they describe a very human quality, and one which we don’t have too much of for ourselves. In addition, extending patience to others is a gift that can nurture relationships in precious ways. What a present to offer others (and ourselves) during this period of rest and restoration.